Jamal and Adrienne Davis met at church. On their first date, Jamal felt in his heart that Adrienne would be his future wife. His intuition was correct. After they were married, the couple looked forward to having children, but soon began encountering fertility issues, and at one point, suffered a miscarriage.
Although the Davises were heartbroken, they were determined to have the children they so desperately longed for. After much consideration and prayer, the couple chose to pursue in vitro fertilization (IVF). Ultimately, their choice helped them bring two children into the world.
Over the course of their struggles to grow their family, the Davises began to see social and spiritual encounters through a brand-new lens, gaining awareness and compassion for those who may also be experiencing a similar circumstance.
In 2024, the Davises joined StoryCorps to share how the storms they weathered drew them even closer to each other, and to their faith.
TRANSCRIPT:
Adrienne: When you get married, the first thing people ask you is, “When you gonna have a baby?”
Jamal: Yeah.
Adrienne: It's like, wait a minute, we just got married yesterday.
Jamal: Yeah. The first one, they're like, “When the other one's coming?”
Adrienne: Yeah. And so, it's like, you know, people asking, “When you gonna have a baby? When you gonna have a baby?” And then asking, “Why don't you just adopt?” and “Why don't you do this, and why don't you do that?”
Jamal: Yeah.
Adrienne: And so, as a woman, there was a lot of, I felt at least, a lot of pressure being put on me, like, basically, like, pointing out the fact that something was wrong with me. Mother's Day used to be rough--
Jamal: Yeah.
Adrienne: --because at our church, we would, you know, try to--
Jamal: --celebrate the mothers.
Adrienne: --celebrate moms and try to do something special. And, especially after a miscarriage, kind of like in that in between time of miscarriage and waiting on our first one to get here, you know, people would say, “Happy
Mother's D-”
Jamal: Yeah.
Adrienne: And then they would catch themselves like, “Oh, wait a minute, you're not a mom.”
Jamal: Because they would see a woman at a particular age group, and they just assume.
Adrienne: And you just assume, yeah. Or they say, “We gonna give all the moms a treat or a flower,” or something at the end of service, “So make sure you get your flower.” And then I'm walking through, like, “I can't get no flower.”
Jamal: Yeah.
Adrienne: I remember one year they asked you to help hand them out, and I was like, “Why would they ask you to do that?”
Jamal: Yeah, well I mean, that's one thing that we did learn from the whole process, is to be more sensitive about our conversations about fertility, our conversations about motherhood and fatherhood. And when we're having conversations with people that we're mindful of, that this doesn't come naturally for everybody.
Adrienne: Right.
Jamal: And that sometimes this is a process.
Adrienne: Yeah, yeah. But it was one of those Mother's Days where Mother's Day fell on Sunday during church service. And it was an emotional Mother's Day. And I was crying and upset. And, you know, they had asked, like, if anyone needs prayer for any special thing to come on down. And so, I went down, and I'm crying and upset and mad. And this lady, she comes and she just hugs me and just lets me cry. And I get makeup all over her clothes and all that. But then she goes home, and she told me that she put that outfit in her closet--
Jamal: Yeah.
Adrienne: --and she never got it cleaned. And when she would pass by it, she would pray for us—
Jamal: Wow!
Adrienne: --because she knew that that was something that we were believing for and praying about and wanting to happen, you know, for us to have a child. So, I say, you know, our church was definitely a place of security and a place of safety for us, because we had people like that who we could be fully human and express emotions, and they would support us and still show us how much God loves us, even though we were going through.
Jamal: Reminded us. And, I mean, I think they're a community of faith for a reason.
Adrienne: Yeah.
Jamal: It's a community of faith. But I think even with what you said about being angry and being mad, I mean, we recognize that our relationship is a relationship, so you learn aspects about God. And I think the difficulty it was is that I learned that even in darkness, even in dark, different situations, He has some kind of way of holding us.
Adrienne: Yeah.
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