This episode of Narrative is in honor of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which is observed each year during the month of October to support survivors, educate communities, and work toward ending relationship abuse.
According to the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault (SCCADVASA), more than 30 thousand cases of intimate partner violence are reported each year in our state. Olivia’s case is among those. She came to South Carolina ETV and Public Radio’s studios to share her story.
After her experience, Olivia (who asked that we don't use her last name) was able to gain strength and support through a local counseling program. If you or someone you care about needs assistance, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
SCCADVASA also has links to member organizations that can assist survivors in creating a personal safety plan to help keep themselves and their families safe while experiencing abuse, preparing to leave an abusive situation, and remaining safe after they leave.
TRANSCRIPT:
Olivia: A lot of people say you don't truly know a person until you've lived with them. And I didn't know that statement was a fact until I've experienced it myself. I was talking to somebody. Then we started dating. The lady that I was talking to is older than me and was still living with her mom, had never had her own place, and she lived three hours away, and I was going to go see her every weekend. So, I was like, “Hey, listen, I've been doing this for a couple of years. I feel like we've reached a point in time in our relationship that we need to progress. You need to get your own place.” So, she decided to move out. But I was like, “You know what? Just move in with me.” And that's when things started to get a little wonky.
I was established. I had a good job. Like, I was paying all the bills in the house because I wanted her to save her money so she can move and get her own place. That was the plan. Six months, you stay with me, save your money. You know, better environment, more opportunities, all of that, and you can go get your own place.
We started to butt heads, and, you know, I felt unhappy in my own home, and I had never felt like that before. I felt unwelcomed. Sometimes, I didn't want to come home. And finally it came to a point where, like…it became physical.
And when it became physical, I did tell her, I said, “Hey, this is not working. You need to leave.” And then it became an aspect where she was refusing to leave. And I'm just like, “I don't know what to do, I've never experienced this in my life, and I'm embarrassed. I don't know who to ask, who to turn to.” Like, I invited this lady to my home. Like, I'm gonna look like an idiot. That means I invited her chaos into my life when all I wanted was a better opportunity for us to grow as a team. And it turned into something way different.
You know, I never even saw it coming because a lot of people said to me, like, “You saw that she was like that. You can tell crazy when you see crazy.” And I'm like, “Sometimes you don't until it's too late.” Because you never…you've never seen it. You don't know what to look for. So, I call and I’m like, “Hey, you need to get your things and leave. This is my last time asking you.” She hangs up the phone, doesn't even respond to what I said.
So, I called the police. Like, “You know what? She refuses to leave. She has a weapon, and I don't feel safe. I'm not going back up there.” So, yeah, they told, they felt like I was lying, and that's why they arrested me. They said, “Your story doesn't sound truthful. Her story sounds more truthful, so we're gonna take you to jail.” They was like, “Well, why'd you wait so long to call the police?” Because I never wanted to get this lady in trouble.
I wasn't there for a long time. I went in for, like, two days. I lost my job. I started drinking. I became very secluded, like, isolated. Like, staying home in the dark. Not even, like, watching TV. I'm just sitting in the dark. I don't even care anymore. Like, “What does it matter?” I just came to a point where, like, I was scared, and I couldn't take it anymore, and I didn't know what else to do.
