This episode of Narrative continues our recognition of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Putting an end to domestic abuse first begins with identifying its various forms, which are not always physical. Sara Barber is the executive director of the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault (SCCADVASA). She recently visited SC Public Radio to explain the nuances of domestic abuse, and what victims can do to safely plan to leave an abusive environment when they’re ready.
Help is available 24/7 by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7223). If you’d rather text, send the word “START” to 88788, or you can chat by visiting TheHotline.org.
TRANSCRIPT:
Barber: When we think of domestic violence, we often think of, you know, a woman cowering in the corner, bruised and bloodied. And that's what a lot of our communications around domestic violence have been. And I think if you focus on physical violence, then it's not surprising when people don't realize that they're experiencing abuse of different kinds.
So, there is emotional abuse where somebody is calling you names, putting you down, making you feel like you're really stupid.
There's isolation as a form of abuse where you're cut off from any means of support from your family, your friends, and where it becomes easier just not to see them so you don't have to hear about how much your partner hates them.
There's sexual abuse within intimate partner relationships, which we often think of sexual violence as something that happens in back alleys to people who've drunk too much, were wearing something they shouldn't, and were somewhere they shouldn't be. But that's only around 7% of sexual assaults, is stranger assaults. And a huge number of sexual assaults are perpetrated by intimate partners. But we don't really think of it as abuse.
There's also economic abuse, where your abusive partner controls all the money coming into a family. And so even if you're working, you're still not able to spend your money how you want it, that is controlled by someone else, or they can run up debts that you are also responsible for.
And then there's also religious abuse, spiritual abuse, where you're not allowed to attend the faith community of your choosing. Or, you're made to attend someone else's.
And then I think, you know, there's reproductive coercion, where your intimate partner controls whether you can take birth control or not and makes those decisions for you or refuses to use birth control or sabotages your birth control.
So, it is a multidimensional problem that people are unaware of its reach in their lives. Domestic and sexual violence across all types of people. It doesn't matter what race you are, what gender you are, how much money you have, or your sexual identity. And it's a lot of the same dynamics around power and control across all people.
For people in the LGBT community, there are additional barriers to seeking help and additional possible dimensions of power. You know, your partner may threaten to out you if you report them.
So, we have member organizations across the state who have 24/7 confidential hotlines. I mean, it's actually federal law that they're not allowed to release anyone's name who's called or experienced services. You may not be ready to leave, but they can offer you help around safety planning, and what you might need to do to get ready to leave when you're ready to leave. Maybe a support group, maybe counseling.
There's also national organizations, and there are specific national organizations that help LGBTQ survivors where they have chat lines. So, even if you don't want to talk to someone, because I know for a lot of people now, talking on the phone is something they never want to do and they'd rather text or chat. So, what I would encourage people to do is just reach out and ask for help.
